And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You ate ashes out of my bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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