Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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