Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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