I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
