As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
