I just made out with a guy for $7.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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