I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Life is so much better after having sex.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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