You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
