I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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