Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
