Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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