You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
