Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
