Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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