would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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