You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize