I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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