i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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