SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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