Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I think I died a long time ago.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
