And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
