No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
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He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
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So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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