That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
what day is it and did you see me today?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
