Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
