his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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