This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
