I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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