Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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