i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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