and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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