would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
