What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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