New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
