does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
