I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
