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I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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