I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
