its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
