think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
