Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Someone signed my nipple.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
