Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
