Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
