that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
