She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
