nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
