Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
