My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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