Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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