she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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