I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
