Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
