u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
