turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
