at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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