Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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