i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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