remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
