Where is the hickey?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
