Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
All I want is dick and wine.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
