I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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