false alarm. still invincible.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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